SWEET SIXTEEN...

Sunday, November 6 2011
Massive Nights FC...6 E FC...2

Massive Nights FC stormed to the top of the table with a 6-2 win over E FC on Sunday night.

With leaders LA Gaylaxy slumping to an 11-3 hammering at the hands of PEN 15, Nights' ninth successive victory was enough to propel them to the league summit.

The new leaders received a massive boost before kick-off with news that marquee signing Shawn 'Scrawny' Helley was finally making his debut after successfully negotiating a release from his contract with the missus by cooking chilli and garlic bread on Saturday night.

Gaffer Will opted to name himself in the starting line-up and leave the new recruit on the bench, alongside Kit the brown-booted shotstopper, soccer bad boy Donaldinho, Hutch, leading goalscorer Andy and - in a surprise move - Bosnian warlord Vito, despite the fact that he decided to flout the mandatory Copa Mundial club directive, instead sporting a pair of luminous orange clown boots.

Vito failed to get on the scoresheet after electing to play in clown shoes

E FC, buoyed by last week's 8-4 win over Al Al Alan FC, came with a gameplan and stuck rigidly to it in the early stages, lining up in a 5-0 formation to form a human shield in front of their goal.

Nights had come under fire from Director of Football and hooligan firm top boy The General for being slow out of the blocks in recent weeks, and while the title favourites quickly fell into their stride, the goals didn't flow.

The breakthrough finally came after The General substituted player-manager Gaffer Will, with a call of 'get warmed up son, I'm bringing you off', giving Scrawny the chance to go into Massive Nights action for the first time.

Scrawny watches one of Kit's wayward goal kicks sail over his head

The General's pep talk had the desired effect, and will returned to action with a new sense of purpose, opening the scoring shortly afterwards.

Donaldinho extended the lead by firing home at the back post after Hutch and Will had both cleverly dummied rather than shooting at the open goal, before Nights really kicked into gear as leading goalscorer Andy decided to up the pace, notching twice in quick succession to win the game virtually single-handedly with two stunning long-range efforts from inside the D.

With Nights pouring forward in a rush for personal glory despite already having a guaranteed supply of goals from their leading scorer, E FC exploited the non-existent defensive line and managed to pull the score back to 4-2.

Donaldinho settled any nerves Nights may have had with his second of the night, latching on to Will's backheel, which was so cheeky it could have been the third member of the Cheeky Girls, before finding the corner of the net.

But anything Will and Donaldinho could do, Andy and Scrawny showed they could with more style and class, repeating the backheel-outstanding finish combo moments later. The goal gave Andy back-to-back hat-tricks and took his tally to 16 for the season, making Donaldinho's goal look a bit pub league, to be fair to the scourge of South Devon referees.

There was still time time for Kit to pull off the save of the century after Will had hand-balled in the area, leaving Massive Nights in their rightful place at the top of the league.

Better than Banks - Kit pulls off a remarkable save from an E FC spot kick

The General was in buoyant mood after the match, heaping praise on Donaldinho's contribution to the cause.

"He's a good lad, and he made a massive contribution tonight." said The General. "I was a bit worried as Paul was ruled out, and I thought we'd really miss what he brings to the team.

"But Donaldinho managed to get his hands on that new black kit, so it all turned out well in the end."

Massive Nights FC scorers: Andy 3, Donaldinho 2, Will

The 'I had a Massive Night-mare' award goes to... Vito - orange boots might go down well on the streets of Srebrenica, but there's no place for them at Massive Nights.