A SCRAPPY WIN...

Sunday October 16

Massive Nights FC...5 ABCDE FC...3

Massive Nights fought their way to another victory to stay hot on the heels of league leaders LA Gaylaxy in a bad-tempered affair at TBGS on Sunday.

The lack of professionalism that has dogged Nights in recent weeks raised its ugly head again on matchday, leaving Gaffer Will exasperated with his 'spoilt' players and disorganised backroom operation.

Will was forced to abandon his detailed match planning when Kit the brown-booted keeper and Callum withdrew from the squad, then Greavesy re-opened his contract dispute and went AWOL.

Raiding the reserves to call up Robo-Feas, Will cobbled together a team he felt were capable of taking the points only for another disaster to befall Nights when the team coach was late leaving the pre-match hotel, meaning the players had to get changed on the bus, Will was unable to deliver his extensive tactical briefing and the squad was unable to perform their normal extensive warm-up routine.

That shocking preparation soon showed on the pitch when Nights fell behind to an early goal, and even though Will - leading from the front - notched a scruffy equaliser and Grandfather of Techno Paul added a second from his traditional six inches, Nights were way off their normal pace.

ABCDE FC were soon level, and it took Croatian import Vito to reassert Nights' lead, only for the title favourites to be pegged back again.

Homo and away: Paul's Massive Nights team bus

With the game in the balance, Nights were in desperate need of inspiration, and they knew where to find it. In a selfless display of generosity and teamwork, leading scorer Andy, the Lord Mayor-ea of the penalty area, chose to sacrifice his own lust for goals in order to provide opportunities for others - poacher turned playmaker-stylee.

By bamboozling the ABCDE defence with his stealth-like movement and laser-precision passing, the big striker carved open opportunities first for soccer bad boy Donaldinho and then Will to finally secure the points.

As the game slipped away from ABCDE FC, matters threatened to boil over on the pitch. But with shadowy hooligan kingpin The General watching on clearly hoping to spread the trouble to the terraces, peacemaker Andy managed to calm things down before they got out of hand.

Gaffer Will was relieved to have claimed the points despite a below-par performance from Nights, but he was less than impressed with events prior to kick-off.

"I can't believe this sort of thing is allowed to happen," he said. "We're trying to focus on our preparations, to give ourselves every opportunity to win the game, then the bus is late arriving.

"It's almost unbelievable. And even worse, when it does arrive it's a really gay bus. I'd just like everyone to remember that we are called Massive Nights FC, not Massive Puffs FC. I'm not happy and I'll be having words."

Massive Nights scorers: Will 2, Paul, Vito, Donaldinho

The 'I had a Massive Night-mare' award goes to... Gaffer Will. He knows why...