Gaffer Will, who let rip at last week's shambolic preparations ahead of the hard-fought win over ABCDE FC, has turned his threats into action by stepping into the transfer market to make two new mystery signings.
"I'm not willing to reveal their identities just yet," said Will, "but they're both quiet lads who I know like an early night and I can't see them causing me any bother at all - not like some of the players I have now, who would give George Best, Oliver Reed and Al Pacino in Scarface combined a run for their money.
"No, these lads are true, clean living pros who lead a honest-to-goodness lifestyle and know how to prepare for big games like this."
Both could go straight into the side for Sunday's game, with Will unable to call on two of his first-choice players. Greavesy is still waiting for the pictures to be taken of the Exeter youth squad and Paul is still applying Germoline and Mr Men elastoplasts to the grazes he picked up last week.
"It's disappointing but Paul's not going to make it," said Will. "But he shed blood for the Massive Nights cause, and there's no greater sacrifice than that. He put his body on the line for this team - some of his wounds were so severe that the TCP ointment almost had to come out - and people should remember that. He's been left with a couple of nasty wounds that may even turn into unsightly scabs, so we need to monitor the situation closely."
You can find last week's results here:
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