STEWARDS' INQUIRY...

It's the scandal that's rocked soccer... and it threatens to derail an entire season unless the authorities step in to sort out an unholy mess surrounding the result of Massive Nights FC's clash with Buccaneers on Sunday evening.

Massive Nights came off the pitch happy in the knowledge they had put in a decent performance in beating the Buccs 12-1.

But somehow the result submitted to the league saw Nights docked three goals... and Buccs awarded a second!

Gaffer Will is now understood to be planning an appeal on the grounds that the ref quite clearly can't count and the score was never 9-2, but sources at league headquarters say Nights' pleas may be in vain.

I understand the three goals most likely to be scrubbed from the record books are Will's backheel, on the grounds that there's no need to take the piss, and Paul's double, on the grounds that they were both a bit rubbish.

Paul realises his two-tap-ins will count for nothing...

However, there is a possibility that Paul and Will could be allowed to keep their goals, but only if the records are amended to show Darrell's tally for the season standing at minus-3.

Gaffer Will could not hide his anger at the administrative error that has had a significant impact on Nights' goal difference.

"It's rubbish," he said. "What sort of ref can't count to 12? Good job he's not a baker in real life. Hmmm, or is it 13 they have to count up to? Anyway, it's rubbish."