Massive Nights FC...7 Al Al Alan FC...1
Massive Nights FC maintained their five-point lead at the top of the league with a stunning second-half performance to see off basement side Al Al Alan FC on Sunday night.
Once again, piss-poor pre-match preparation did nothing to help Massive Nights' cause, with the team bus only arriving at TGGS 10 minutes before kick-off, leaving Gaffer Will throwing teacups in frustration at the off-field problems which continuously threaten to detrail his side's title charge.
Will named himself in a the squad, which featured overseas signing Tias, a product of Borussia Munchengladbach's youth system, on the bench in the absence of Clark Gable looky-likey Scrawny and Bosnian Warlord Vito, who had gone pole dancing or summat.
Things went from bad to worse for the Nights who are Massive in the opening stages, when Al Al Alan FC took an early lead, San Marino v England-stylee, when Kit the Brown-Booted Shotstopper suffered another head-in-hands moment to gift the strugglers an unlikely lead.
Nights were soon back on level terms when Will poked in a scruffy equaliser, and only a goalkeeping display of breathtaking and staggering brilliance prevented 20-goal-a-season striker Andy from extending the lead, the chairman hitting the target on a regular basis only to be denied by Al Al Alan FC's world-class glovesman. On any other day, they would have been goals. Everyone said so.
With the half-time scoreline standing at 1-1 and Al Al Alan FC sniffing the chance of an upset, it was time for The General, Massive Nights' technical director and hooligan firm 'top boy', to take charge and subtley tweak the side's set-up
And his experience paid dividends, with Nights a different side after the break, with only Robo-Feas, returning to action in a no-nonsense defensive role, and Grandfather of Techno Paul failing to get on the scoresheet.
Soccer bad boy Donaldinho, 70s crimefighter Hutch and Tias all notched unmemorable efforts before what had been a mundane affair was instantly elevated to classic status when 20-goal-a-season striker Andy bagged his 21st of the season with a quite astonishing finish.
Latching on to Hutch's overhit through-ball down the right channel, and under pressure from the unrushing world-class keeper and two Premiership-quality defenders, the 20-goal-a-season striker conjured an outrageous flick with the outside of his Copa Mundial to steer the ball into the far corner, sparking delirious scenes on the Nights bench and in the crowd.
The 20-goal-a-season chairman's work was not yet done - first he tee'd up Hutch for his second, which he almost contrived to miss by hitting the crossbar and both posts before the ball finally trickled over the line, and then the 20-goal-a-season striker grabbed his 22nd of the campaign, niftily steering in a shot from Tias which was going well wide to complete the rout.
Gaffer Will had mixed emotions after the game. "Obviously I'm pleased with the win," he said, "but I feel sorry for Paul. He was keen to do well tonight against Al Al Alan FC after his loan move to them fell through when they decided he was no better than what they already had. I was a bit surprised at that, because I'd have said he's better than the bloke with the moustache at least.
"And I think anyone would have said after his 40-yard toe-poke last week that he was nailed on for goal of the season, but obviously after 20-goal-a-season striker Andy's worldy tonight, he's not going to win that. But he's a good lad and he'll bounce back.
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| Robbed: Paul realises he won't be winning goal of the season after all |
Massive Nights scorers: Andy 2, Hutch 2, Will, Donaldinho, Tias
The 'I had a Massive Night-mare' award goes to... Donaldinho - when the leader of Massive Nights' drinking faction crys off the pub, there can be only one winner. Remember lads, 'win draw or lose... we're on the booze!'
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