THERE'S A LITTLE 'P' AFTER OUR NAME...

Sunday, December 11 2011
Massive Nights FC...6 Torblaze...3

Massive Nights FC were promoted as champions without even kicking a ball on Sunday night.

LA Gaylaxy's shock 1-0 defeat at the hands of E FC handed the title to the league leaders ahead of their clash with Torblaze.

With the silverware already sealed, Gaffer Will's side once again opened slowly with Robo-Feas's operating system clearly set to a different time zone, and Torblaze stunned the newly-crowned champions by taking an early lead.

But fortunately for Massive Nights, 20-goal-a-season striker Andy was about his game and quickly levelled, winning the ball in midfield to feed Paul, before converting the Grandfather of Techno's wayward shot at the far post.

The 20-goal-a-season chairman completed a quickfire hat-trick with two individual goals in which Paul's inaccurate passing played no role whatsoever, before sealing the win by creating goals for soccer bad boy Donaldinho and Bosnian warlord Vito.

No-one else contributed much, apart from technical director and hooligan outfit top boy The General, who generated an air of menace on the touchline after his 'off' with Brixham United Under 10s' firm earlier in the day.

Nights now look to extend their unbeaten run against E FC on Sunday (TGGS, 5.30pm), and Gaffer Will has once again dipped into the transfer market to bolster his squad with an eye on next season's campaign in the higher division.

In a surprise move, Will swooped for former Libertines frontman Pete Doherty - explaining that he hoped the arrival of the legendary rock n' roll casualty would help Donaldinho find his best form.

Liber-team: The chairman welcomes Pete Doherty to Massive Nights

"Donaldinho is a legend," said the gaffer. "He has a lot of talent, and some say he's almost in George Best's class. But I think sometimes he finds it hard to apply himself and really practice hard. When he's on his game, there's not many who can get near him, but his form in that area has been erratic this season.

Gaffer Will is hoping Pete Doherty will help Donaldinho to return to form and take to the pitch on Sunday complete with Copa Mundials, a beer and a fag 

"I'm hoping having Pete around will help Donaldinho find his mojo again and get him back to top form... after all it's our Christmas party next week and I'm expecting a big performance from both of them."

Massive Nights scorers: Andy 3, Vito 2, Donaldinho 1

The 'I had a Massive Night-mare' award goes to... Will - late, grumpy and failing to fight off his dad's post-match banter...